Street Food – Dog variety
‘Ear wuh. I write bout dis before and yall know is true. Guyana gah de best food, period, hands down and anybody who think different, guh cook you own damn food. Hehehe. A set a man buse me and tell me my opinion is subjective. Hear story hay. Of course it subjective Budday, everything is subjective based on your perspective. Duh ent mean dat it ent true though. But hear wuh I talkin bout today – Street Food fuh dog specifically.
I remember the dog food explosion in Guyana when every two corner yuh pass, somebody gat a lil stand wid a set a red or blue $10 plastic bag full a dog food. Dem selling de bag a food fuh $100. True to Gawd, dem had mo dag food dan dog fuh feed Budday. Every corner had at least two dag food salesman. Every corner Budday. Dem stray dawg did walkin round suckin dem teeth cus yuh had dag food fuh pelt dag wid and dem deh suckin salt and dem cyant geh none ah dem own food dat deh selling at every street corner. Imagine dat? Insult to injury Buddy.
Some people seh was a Chiney Restaurant man pon Mandela Avenue who fuss come up wid de idea fuh get rid of all of dem left over food. But me ent sure is who fuss come up wid de idea fuh mek and sell dag food pon de street corner but yuh know how Guyanese dem fass and like copycat right? From de time dem see de fuss dog food man set up ‘e stand by de street corner and start sell dag food, an how dem cheap dag owners start flock de man fuh buy de dag food, everybody and dem grand mudda turn dag food salesman and start a lil business buying de bruk up dutty rice dat nobody din wan buy from dem grocery store man wid some lil beef scraps and start a dag food business.
Nex ting yuh know, dem same beef scraps and pork scraps dat the butcher man dem used fuh can’t gi way fuh free, dem same scraps start selling fuh a million dollars a pound Budday, me ent lying. In fact yuh know wuh happen? Dem same beef scraps and bone scraps and all dem other dutty meat scraps dat dem butcher man used to sneak out and dump in yuh alley drain behind yuh house, dem same scraps start sell mo expensive than regular beef. Me ent lying, is true.
‘Ear wuh does kill me out bout dis dag food business Budday… de ingredients dem. Now tell me why in heavens name, yuh gun put seasonings like garlic and onion and cassareep in dag food Budday? Dem dag doan care bout dat! Some a dem man does even put Chiney spice, salt and cube and suh. Fuh wuh Budday, fuh wuh? Usually de food is got a set a rice, wid lil beef, chicken and pork scraps and bone in um. Because dem dag food cook want um look good and smell nice fuh de dag owner dem, dem does color de rice wid cassareep and Chiney spice. Dem does mek a kind a cookup ting widout coconut milk. Dat is nah shine rice right? Wait man, shine rice does doan gat coconut milk or um does doan gat peas? Is which one? Shoots. Hehehe.
Remember when we did lil we used to call dem road dag, rice eater right? Well is pure rice eater dem gah now budday. Bout 95% of de food is rice and de res is some kind a mystery meat and some seasonings. Dem dag dis need a balanced meal tuh. Plus all dag food cook nah created equal. Yuh might find one or two dat might add in lil greens, one-foot-fowl and scrap vegetables from de market. Nah jus rice budday nah jus rice. If all dem dag getting is carbohydrates and bone wuh you tink gun happen? Is a set a fat dag waddling round de place. Now dem dag gun turn pig. Nah suh? Hehehe.
Plus as bad as it is fuh dem stray and road dag, fuh add insult to injury, dem does get a set a competition from de junkies on de road tuh. So in addition to de stray dag sucking dem teeth and crossing up dem eye when dem see a set a dog food sellin and dem cyant get none, dem also gat a set a competition from humans. Look on de bright side though, at least de Junkies mo picky dat dem road dag. Dem does want a portion a food wid nuff bone in um. Meh know dis part is nah laugh story but ah mean if dem Junkie gun pay dem $100 fuh a bag a food, gi dem man something fuh suck an chew nah man. Put nuff bone in de bag mistuh cook, put nuff bone in de bag. Hehehe.
We gun gaff latuh.
–AJ Massay